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[09 Jan 2010|11:26pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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music |
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4am- Our Lady Peace |
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I think I've officially decided that I hate Ferris.
I want to love it here... I really do. Why the fuck did I choose a major that isn't offered anywhere else?
I wish I could say that I missed being here and was excited to come back. Well, I did say it but I know I was just lieing to myself.
I just hope this semester will change my mind. I've already started to think about going somewhere else next year. I just don't want to give up because I keep telling myself next year will be better.
I want to believe I just got used to being home again, but I think the only thing that kept me going from halloween to thanksgiving to christmas was knowing that i was going home again.
ugh.
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| I am a moth Who just wants to share your light |
[19 Aug 2009|04:19pm] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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All I Need- Radiohead |
] |
Message Sent.
Now I'm afraid of facebook... I guess thats a good thing. Should keep me off of it for a few days.
Eight Days. I don't know what to do about that. It still seems unreal so I really havent gotten anything done besides shopping for mine and Jessica's dorm room.
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[01 Aug 2009|05:00am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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I CAN'T SLEEP!
I fell asleep around 11, woke up around 3 and am still up.
I wish someone was awake to talk to...
So many people water their lawns at odd times in the night. I'm surprised the sprinklers have never woken me up before. Each time I hear a different neighbor's start up it scares the crap out of me.
I just want to sleep!!!!!!
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| I'm sick of painting in black and white |
[26 Jun 2009|05:29pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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Redefine-Incubus |
] |
Am I invisible?
Yesterday I went to the fireworks in Wixom. Danielle called Chelsea and told her that Ken was there so we decided to stop and say hi. Once we get close enough he walks right past us so we werent going to bother following him around just to say hi. It was pretty stressful since it's been over a year since either one of us has talked to him...
Then today we went to Meijer to buy drinks and candy before going to the movies. We're both looking down at the candy options when I look next to me and see Amy's mom. She gets out of the way and I see Amy standing a few feet away. I just froze. Part of me just wanted to yell Hi to her all excitedly, but then I remembered that our friendship is no longer like that. I just stood there staring at her wondering what to do. Neither she or her mom said anything to me. I wouldnt even know what to do if they had noticed me staring at them...
running into ex-best friends is such a terrible feeling...
Going to New York tomorrow, be home July 1st.
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[13 Jun 2009|01:34pm] |
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mood |
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 rushed |
] |
Monday seems so close and August is just too far away.
Each passing day gets a little harder as goodbye creeps closer.
: (
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[21 May 2009|10:29pm] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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Tomorrow's the last day of school. Ugh, I really can't believe it. Im sooo excited, but at the same time it is really saddening... I think tomorrow is going to be pretty hard. Its always hard to say goodbye and I dont want to have to say it to the people I have gotten so close to over the years. We've known the same people for years and all of a sudden we have to go our seperate ways. Yeah, we have summer to spend time together, but it really is the beginning of the end. After the band concert tonight it really hit me. Hannah and Jessie looked at me and realized that it would be their last time to ever see me since IA doesn't have school tomorrow. Even though I didn't become that close to them this year it is still weird to realize that I wont be coming back to the same people next year... Im going to miss talking to them everyday along with everyone else in band and all of my classes. How bittersweet...
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[22 Mar 2009|11:54pm] |
I'm glad I decided against becoming a teacher a few years ago. I become attached to people way too easily and I would probably lose my mind... Just a random thought that just came to me.
Losing faith in humanity.
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[15 Mar 2009|03:16pm] |
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mood |
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 creative |
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music |
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Define Dancing- Wall-E : ) |
] |
i think ive found my calling.
ice cream creation.
hah. i just put two peanut butter girl scout cookies in a bowl of vanilla ice cream and crushed them up. it was pretty delicious and im bored and feel like sharing : )
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[23 Feb 2009|09:13pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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Phantom Planet |
] |
sometime in the near future I am going to write a bunch of letters. I have been planning them out for about a week, but I havent had the time to get around to them. maybe some will end up on here. maybe some will find the hands of those they are written to. I think I need this...
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[29 Aug 2008|08:34pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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beautiful-garbage |
] |
All summer Ive been keeping this in expecting things to change, but now as summer is coming to a close I feel the need to...explode. I just feel the need to vent to someone...anyone...but I never know how to just bring up things out of the blue and I always feel like the people I complain to don't really care to listen. So I've come here where I can just spill on end without feeling bad because no one is forced to listen. Heck, no one is forced to read. Here it goes...
Ive come to realize that as time goes on it's harder to keep friends. Ive gone through many cycles of relationships with people, some have faded out slowly while some just fall out quickly. Its even harder to let go of someone you've known for basically all your life or someone you become so close to that you want to have that inivincible friendship with for the rest of your life to look back on the past and just laugh and take pride in how you've come.
Last year I lost a couple of really close friends, which took a huge toll on my emotions. I understand that many of the people I have gotten to know over the years will lose touch and fall out as we part ways in the future, but to feel like youre losing...basically a sister because youve spent your entire childhood with them is pretty unbearable.
I've spent an entire summer without my best friend. Ive picked up the phone plenty of times to try to schedule a day for us to get together with no response. After my birthday passed with no call or attempted visits it gave me an unwanted reality check that we've been slowly growing apart over the years. Previously my birthday was ALWAYS spent with her. I would sit in my house and early in the day hear the doorbell ring twice-her signature ring and be greeted with gifts from she and her two sisters. If either one of us were on vacation she'd always call and leave a message and as soon as possible would come to my door with a gift. Its been over a month and I still haven't received any sort of birthday wish. Even though it doesnt seem like much it has really bothered me. I dont expect a gift from her, I just think of the significance of that day in the past. her family has always treated me like family and I hate the feeling that I'm losing that bond of having a "second family".
I gave my last attempt a week ago leaving a voicemail asking when she was free so we could do lunch before school starts up again. I informed her of the days and times I was busy so she could get back to me. I received a text saying she was at practice and she'd call once she got out. It's been over a week and have I gotten that phone call? No.
We both lead busy lives, but summer has always been our time to make-up for lost time during the school year. It's not like I've been busy every day of summer and I've informed her of days that I'm busy so we can organize our schedules to hang out. Now that Ive gone an entire summer-basically my last summer without her I have almost lost hope for our friendship during senior year. I just hope things change fast...
wanna know the worst part?
we're neighbors.
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[11 Feb 2008|05:02pm] |
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mood |
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jealous |
] |
no one will read this, but i feel the need to get this out. out somewhere where people can read it and know how i feel. possibly put in their own input, but i dont expect it.
i absolutely hate the fact that my boyfriend's best friend is a girl.
especially since she had a crush on him for years.
i cant help that im a jealous person.
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[13 Jul 2007|10:10pm] |
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Leaving for Seattle tomorrow! 14-21st.
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[10 Jul 2007|06:08pm] |
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mood |
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 relieved |
] |
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music |
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Paramore |
] |
Judgement Day-APUSH
I am very relieved : )
YAY passing!
Congrats to everyone who did well.
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[01 Jul 2007|08:07pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
] |
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music |
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Maps-Yeah Yeah Yeahs |
] |
big update is needed.
Florida.
simplay amazing. BEST trip I've EVER been on.
on the way down mr. green decided he wanted to shave off my eyebrows. this was before we even got outside of michigan. this was before we were even an hour away from home. funny him.
so chels and i made a compromise. if he got us first, eyebrows. if we got him first, fake nails and eyebrows.
we did get him. one hand-rainbow nail polish and pink toenails.
green lucked out though.
revenge on the way home-green drawing on emily white's face with SHARPIE!
reveneg from emily-drawing on greens face with sharpie and painting his eyebrows with nailpolish : )
basics-
airzooka attacks in epcot.
eatting with our FACES at arabian nights.
rip chord with emily.
round the clock boys.
shake n bake.
ILY JENN-AY
help me tom cruise.
riding tower of terror 5 times. 3 in a row with the guys. with funny pictures
gossip time with chels, becca, nicole, steve, eric and green.
old town-INTERESTING statue. being stalked by mexicans. stroking skunks.
camel spit.
waiting in line-sneaky pictures. lava ground. brick walking.
spent the night at chelsea's monday..?
biked to white lake supermarket. realized why monster is in a can...ew
been hangin out with matt and kenny all week. : ) i love those 2. im glad i have 2 best guy friends like them. <3
swimming at ken's on sunday
dangerous day wednesday..lol 50 on a bike : ) drifting anddd tree cutting ; )
fireworks with those 2 plus chelsea and courtney on thursday.
being woken up at 7 am by the guys on friday morning. not with a phone call. not with a doorbell ringing. with them standing in my FRONT YARD and screaming ERIKAAAAAAA! = early morning bike ride.
last night. DCI show in kalamazoo with Brandi and Jackie. a lottt of fun. yay for cavalier love from brandi and i : ) blue devils were sweeet too. and glassmen. bluecoats were ehhhh alright..definitely not up to par. our seats were right on the FIFTY : ) it was amazing.
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[14 Jun 2007|04:21pm] |
10-Day Forecast for
Orlando, FL [ English | Metric ] | |
BOOOOOO!
I'm holding out for the Florida weather theory : )
sorry for ruining your friends page.
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[27 Apr 2007|04:38pm] |
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music |
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bleed american |
] |
I have a feeling that Karma is going to come back at me sometime soon....
ick.
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[12 Feb 2007|07:29pm] |
What a funny day..
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[08 Jan 2007|06:57pm] |
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[28 Dec 2006|11:50pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
] |
I hate when people don't listen.
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[18 Nov 2006|10:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 refreshed |
] |
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music |
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Chevelle |
] |
im kinda bored...so im gonna fill out a survey to make myself feel better. its not like anyone will read it. i kinda wanna delete this thing. its kinda pointless, but iguess i like expressing my feelings over things.
chels, danielle and i went shopping today though. it was a lot of fun. i bought a cute teal and polka spots headband. There was this guy who said lotion funny...and a lady who yawned funny. it made me laugh really hard. we also got REALLY good frozen yogurt and fruit. ohh it was amazing.
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